


Broken Vow

by sasha_b



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Comment Fic, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-24
Updated: 2013-07-24
Packaged: 2017-12-21 04:47:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sasha_b/pseuds/sasha_b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lancelot wants what he cannot have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken Vow

**Author's Note:**

> For comment fic on Live Journal; prompt: "And sinners we shall be, for thee, m'lord, for thee." (Boondock Saints)

Arthur and Guinevere are perfection together.

Lancelot wonders for the thousandth time if he will be put to the blade for even daring to look at her, as he knows what the king is thinking. He knows what Arthur feels for the lady, for he feels it too.

And then there's Arthur himself - Lancelot shakes his head, his sword hand tired even though he won't admit it. Gwaine is coming at him as he raises his eyes, and despite the worry, despite the fact he's been thinking awful, sinful thoughts, he allows their blades to connect and within the space of a heartbeat he's got the other knight on his back and in the dirt. Gwaine spits curses good-naturedly and allows Lancelot to heft him to his feet, shaking his hand, laughing and clapping him on the back. Merlin approaches them, handing Gwaine a sheath for his sword and when the other knight departs, turns to Lancelot and cocks his head.

"You seem distracted, Lancelot."

Lancelot bites the inside of his cheek and rests gloved hands on his mail-covered hips. "Not at all, Merlin. Can I help you with something?" He realizes his reply is short and biting, and he wouldn't hurt his friend for all the world, but he can't - not today. Not when the lady in question and in his thoughts keeps appearing and reappearing, with drinks and things for Arthur and the knights and he knows she's doing it on purpose, and he's angry suddenly.

"Your face is red."

"I'm hot." He slams his sword into its scabbard and turns his back on Merlin, the sun blinding him so he can't see Guinevere speaking to Arthur, the smile on her face a wide, _real_ smile, and he strides from the grounds, heading toward the castle proper, even as Arthur calls to him, the love in the king's voice an aching scrape of blood filled damage. Lancelot pushes the door open, and shoves past Gaius, ignoring the old physician, and when he finds his rooms, he locks the door for the first time ever, and flings his sword to the ground, ripping his mail off, hair catching in it, painful and eye-watering.

A knock at his door. He sits on his bed in his sweaty tunic and trousers and boots and using his teeth, opens the bottle of wine next to him and swigs from it, even as the knock comes again. The rooms are gorgeous and large and he doesn't deserve them, no matter how good a knight he is, no matter how loyal he is to the king and to Camelot and damnable Merlin sticks his head in the door, sidling inside, closing it behind him.

"Merlin!" Lancelot's shout is fearsome and full of the heat the wine has provided. "I know what you can do. Don't do it to me, if you have any respect for me, please." He drinks more and then slumps, sitting the bottle down.

"I am worried about you," Merlin says, the yellow dying out of his eyes. "I know what you're thinking." He sits next to Lancelot on the bed. His slender body is slight compared to the physical strength Lancelot possesses, but the knight knows Merlin could kill him with a thought. "I am sorry."

"She belongs with Arthur," Lancelot says. "They are right together."

"I know," Merlin starts slowly, "I know how hard it must be for you. She is - " he stops, hesitating, winding his long fingers together.

"She is Guinevere," Lancelot finishes simply. He stands. "Merlin, I am not worthy of the love you show me. I am thankful for it all the same." He rolls his lips inward and turns his back on the younger man. "Please leave me alone."

Merlin rises as well and for once doesn't try to argue or fight. He slips out of Lancelot's rooms as quickly and quietly as he'd come, and Lancelot stands and watches the door until another knock comes and he answers and it's Arthur and he smiles and touches the king's shoulder and follows him to dinner and does not look at the one thing in Arthur's kingdom he cannot have.


End file.
